Day 40 – Being taken down from the inside

My body is trying to kill me.


Specifically my ovaries.


Normally when it fails me I understand why.

Normally it’s because I have failed it first.

By poisoning it with alcohol

Or not giving it enough food

Or rest

Or vegetables.


But once a month

I get punished just for being a woman

As if my body is a vessel of the patriarchy.


And I can’t have nice things

Like friends

(because I’m a cranky bitch)

Or self-esteem

(because paranoia/self-loathing)

Good food

(nothing kills an appetite like crippling pain)

Or caffine

(who knows why)

To name but a few.


All I want

Is to curl up in a pillow fort

With disney or parks and rec

Ice cream and hot chocolate

Someone to stroke my hair

And let me complain.


But also what I want

Is to not be defeated

By my stupid womb

And it’s guilt trip.

To carry on as normal

Like a good and strong feminist.

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