Day 41 – selfish

I’m sorry.

 

What for?

 

For being annoying about this. For letting you down.

 

You haven’t annoyed me or let me down.

 

Are you sure? I feel like I have.

 

I’m sure.

 

I still feel guilty though.

 

You really don’t need to.

 

But I do. It’s there. This itch in my chest because I’ve been selfish–

 

–how have you been selfish?

 

I put myself first.

 

You’re allowed to put yourself first sometimes.

 

But–

 

Shush. You’re allowed to put yourself first sometimes. It doesn’t make you selfish.

 

Yes it does. That’s the definition of selfish. It makes me a bad person.

 

You are NOT a bad person. You need to look after yourself. That isn’t selfish.

 

But how do you know where the balance is? When to do what you want to and when to just suck it up and get on with it?

 

Feeling happy is normally a pretty good indicator of that. Are you happy at the moment?

 

Yeah. Well. No. But I feel closer than usual.
Then keep doing what you need to to get there.

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