Day 84 – Wall

I seem to have hit one.

But, not a fully constructed one.

There are cracks, that I can see through.

And the wall, really, is being built by me.

There’s some bricks that are fear

Self consciousness

Embarrassment

Wanting the right people to see, but the wrong people not to

Some more fear

I’d taken some of the bricks out of the wall

But I seem to have popped them back in again.

I’m not sure how or when this happened.

I have theories.

They don’t help.

Sometimes I think the wall is a good thing to have

Which is maybe why I’m putting it back up

Other times I don’t

Which is when I try to take it down.

Most of my energy at the moment is being expended on fighting myself over this.

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